sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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