After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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