She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
