I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
