it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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