How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
