No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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