We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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