now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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