Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
