She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
