that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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