i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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