real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize
