go do what you do best...puke behind churches
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Is Oprah even human
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
