batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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