she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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