I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize