its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize