So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
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Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
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Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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