IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
