i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
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