Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
