wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
