There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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