I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
