What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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