well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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