My friends, they love my intelligence
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
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