You can't special order awesome
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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