I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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