i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.