went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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