sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
