I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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