The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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