He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
