Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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