I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
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Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
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