yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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