its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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