Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
