Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
