i wish my penis had a tongue
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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