Whod you bang
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
