We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
