apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize