My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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