and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
