dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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