When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
