You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
