NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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