I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize