Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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