...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
