Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
