redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
