You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
