My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
