Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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