I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
