Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
