What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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