he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
