one two three fourrrrnication!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
