Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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