Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
ok first of all what the fuck
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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