I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Randomize
