So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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